3/27/13
Apparently I missed the memo over the past 2 days that I need to change my Facebook picture to a symbol that represents equality and the right for gay people to marry each other?!?!
I'll throw my argument out in the open right away...read on if you'd like, if not, then don't judge my point of view because it's different than yours: I support equality and rights for gays, but I also support traditional marriage as a union between one man and one woman. In fact, I'd also like to discuss this topic with you in person because I'd like to better understand your point of view. However, if you are now irate with my thoughts (but hopefully not me as a person) then I fear we can't discuss this topic because it would turn into an argument. I'm willing to listen to you, if you're willing to listen to me. Actually, let's have a beer over it?!?!
This story has been brewing in this country over the past few years, and I think it is a ridiculous thing to make such a huge fuss over because people are missing the simplicity of the argument. Gays have every right as straight people in this country, however, certain states do not recognize their unions as "marriage." I feel gay people have every right to do anything straight people should, but marriage should not be one of them because that is not the definition of marriage. Even Supreme Court justices are starting to toss out ideas that are becoming ludicrous in my mind. Is the sole purpose of marriage to procreate and produce life?! Maybe, maybe not. I know plenty of straight couples who have chosen not to have children because it's their choice. And yes, I still considered them to be married couples, just as I would if 80 year olds choose to remarry after their spouses die. Will they procreate? Nope...but they certainly are married and we should recognize that as a marriage because it is one man and one woman. Should we limit marriages? Yes...to a man and a woman because that's what marriage is by definition. If you want to argue about words and definitions, take it up with Webster. Hell, invent a new word to recognize this relationship between gays, but please don't call it marriage. I don't feel superior to gays because I'm married and they're not, nor should they feel inferior to me because their relationship isn't recognized as a marriage. Because my view is different from this idea that everyone has suddenly been enlightened to, I now feel as an outcast in society, and even feel that if I were to voice my counter opinion on Facebook in a less aggressive way than some supporters, I feel my job could be at jeopardy...not to mention that I'd open myself to hateful insults.
If gays are suffering prejudice in the work place or other laws, they should not because they are human and they are entitled to the same God-given rights that everyone else is. But marriage is not a right, and it is certainly not written in the Constitution. In fact, marriage is not even listed in the Constitution. Certain parts of our society, in fact, large groups of people feel they need to re-write or even throw out the Constitutition whenever it differs from their point of view. To that, I say BS! I find it humorous that we have so many Constitutional scholars that come out of the woodwork when the country debates big issues. Heck, the Constitution explicitly states that I have a right to own and "bear" my gun, but the majority of those in support of gay marriage would argue otherwise by saying that the founders didn't mean what they wrote over 240 years ago!!!
What people are missing, is that marriage is not a right...it's a privelidge...so please don't try to change that. Gays are not being discriminated against by the majority of those that say they should not be married, people are simply stating that marriage is a man and woman thing. To say marriage is a right opens up a can of worms that we don't know about yet...perhaps your high school child will come home from school some day saying they want to be married to their boyfriend/girlfriend and that they have the right to do so!!!! What is the argument to that?! That your child is not of age?! Or they're too young? Well, if they have all the rights that everyone else in the country has, age shouldn't be a factor, and we don't want to put limits on marriage... right?!?!
I'm also irritated by the number of pictures showing up on Facebook depicting racists mobs from generations ago and their signs/posters/banners they are holding which have hateful words on them. Of course, the caption of the picture asks, "Which side of history will you be on in 40 years?" or "Won't you feel stupid 40 years from now?" My response is simple: Those pictures show hateful people resenting a group of people. To this date, I have yet to see a single sign in protest of the gay marriage issue that uses an offensive words against gays or lesbians. I find it insulting that my viewpoint is being compared to racist viewpoints from the past when I have nothing in common with those people or their hurtful words. Of course, there are some who oppose gay marriage who think about gays in offensive ways, but they are not the majority of us who feel this way, so please don't associate the majority with the minority. People would take offense if I tried to label all gay people as people who spread AIDS (this, of course, is a historical argument from generations ago), so please don't try to sway others to your beliefs with powerful words/images.
My problem with this whole issue is the word "marriage." Gays should have every opportunity to have a legally recognized relationship and the "perks" that go along with it, just like I have with my wife. They should be entitled to sharing insurance, death benefits and any other perk that I can have from my marital status, but please don't call it marriage. Most importantly, please don't demonize myself or any other person that holds this view that is in disagreement with yours. I'm not a hater, homophobe or any other words I hear thrown around in the media and in social networks today. In fact, for my entire adult life, I have worked with numerous gay people, and I like and respect all of them for who they are. Heck, I have gay people in my family...and I still love them for who they are. I have no problem with homosexuality, but I do have a problem with attempts to redefine a term that has been around for dozens of generations. I would be looked at as an idiot if I got out of my Hyundai on the street and tried telling someone it's a Corvette just because I think I have a right to drive a Corvette!!! I can't call a motorcycle a pick up truck either. Sure, you can argue that they both have wheels and they accomplish the same thing, but they are inherently different from each other...both require licenses to drive, both are recognized as legitimate means of transportation by the government, but both are classified in uniquely different ways. In fact, one requires a license that is greatly different than the other in order to drive it, but it is still different and we should keep it as such. Do both drivers have a right to choose which to drive and the right to drive one rather than the other!?!? No...but they do have a priveledge to choose!
And, why I'm writing this standpoint in my Daddy Diary...it's simple...if my child were to tell me they are gay, I would completely love them and support them...nothing would change. And yes, I can honestly say that because I believe it! I don't see myself changing my standpoint either if my gay child told me they wanted to get married.
My fear with all of this is in the foundation of marriage and the institution of marriage is at risk. I fear this because if gay marriage is legalized, I feel many gay couples would rush into marriage just because they can. And to those that disagree with this, I'd ask you if you would stop a younger brother/sister or friend if they jumped into marriage too early with their boyfriend/girlfriend?!?! Marriage is something that society treats very delicately as is. People don't rush into it because they are aware of the commitment it represents between a man and women...through sickness and health...not just because they want to "stick it to the man." I see far too many results of broken homes in my classroom already. I feel gay couples should have every opportunity (notice, I didn't use the word right) to adopt and raise a family together, but don't call it a marriage. Call it a family under one roof, but mom and mom or dad and dad are not married.
One fundamental argument I've left out of this posting is the element of God's view on all of this. I left it out because I don't know enough about that perspective, so I won't pretend I do and I certainly won't argue it. I wish others would consider my tip before demonizing myself and others because our views differ. This country was founded on differing views, so lets celebrate differences. Let's agree to disagree at times. But let's also move forward without putting others down. I'm willing to bet the majority of people who have posted that symbol on Facebook in the last few days have used a vulgar word in their conversations with friends/families over the years that would insult homosexuality and now they are suddenly avid supporters of their cause.
Thanks for taking the time to read my Daddy Diary. This entry, of course, was not entirely focused on my child, but it should hopefully give my daughter something to look back on when she grows up so she can understand some "hot button" issues being discussed in her country prior to her arrival. Most importantly, thanks for your thoughts, best wishes and/or prayers you send our way. Take care!
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