The birth of an angel

4/6/13

Today, our little angel, Erica Jean is 5 days old, and I think I finally have some time to write this blog that I've been trying to find time for over the past 4 days.  So, grab a beverage, a box of Kleenex if you're a sappy person, and hang on as I relay to you all the ride of my life!!! (there may be a 4 letter word making appearance on occasion as I feel they help relay the emotions we were feeling at the time)

On Easter morning, March 31st, 2013, (a day before our due date) Laura and I went to church.  A friend I used to teach with, told me about her church and that she sings in the choir.  I mentioned this to Laura and she was excited to attend church Easter morning, and I was excited to hear my friend, the great Cathryn Miller, sing in the choir!  On the walk into church, Laura slipped on some ice.  She fell to a knee and caught herself with the help of her hand.  She insisted she was alright at the time.  However, after sitting in church, she was very stiff and sore walking back to the car and even had difficulty lifting her leg to get in.  We then headed to my parents house for our annual Easter Egg hunt around their house (which, by the way, I won by finding 3 more eggs than Laura!!!) and headed to brunch in Eagan. 

When we got home from brunch, Laura was even stiffer and had some major pain sitting and lying down.  I felt helpless in trying to console her tears.  As a pregnant girl, Laura could do almost nothing for the pain in her hips, pelvis and lower back from her fall.  I suggested we call the birth center to see if she should come in and get checked out.  The German in my wife won the first round and her stubbornness prevailed.  However, after talking to my Aunt Kari (whom I have always called KeeKee) and telling her we wouldn't be coming to Easter dinner at Granny's because of Laura's discomfort, she encouraged me to call the birth center anyways. 

The birth center gave Laura the option to call her doctor or come in to get a quick check out.  Fortunately for my nerves, calling the doctor wasn't an option for us!!!  So we packed up the "go bags" and headed for the hospital around 2pm.  We were led into a big delivery room (we saw some pretty small ones on a tour a couple months ago) and Laura's tummy had some monitors placed on it to monitor baby's heart beat and to detect any contractions.  For over an hour, the baby's heart was great and Laura had no contractions so they sent us packing.  When we both joked with Monica, the nurse, about the great room we were in, she said, "Well, if your water breaks while you're here, it's yours!"  We headed out from the delivery ward and decided to make a visit to Granny's house to catch the tail end of Easter Dinner.  After stiffening up some more over the course of a half hour there, Laura and I decided to head home for some rest. 

When we got home, I took Lexi for a walk and Laura sat on the couch.  I came home and started picking up the massive amount of dog crap in the front yard that the melting snow had slowly revealed.  After about 20 minutes of little progress and squishy shoes, the bathroom window opened and Laura whispered calmly, "Hey Dan, can you come in here for a second?"  For the sake of the 2 shovels in my hands that I was using as turd chopsticks, I asked, "What's up?"  "Can you just come in here?"  "Sweatheart, what's wrong?"  "I think my water just broke!"  Holy crap!!!  Suddenly the expected birth of our baby was very real!!!  I came in and she told me her story of sitting on the couch and feeling an uncomfortable feeling and heading to the bathroom.  I knew immediately what had happened, though Laura was skeptical (and wishfully thinking) that she had just had a little accident.  "No, honey, you didn't pee your pants!"  So, for the second time that day, I called the birth center.  I told them that I thought the water had broke...and the lady remembered talking to me earlier in the day on the phone!!  She told us to take our time, to have Laura shower, and to come in to the birth center when we were ready.  So Laura took a shower and my life took a ride in the fast lane of confusion, nerves and controlled frantic searching/packing!  Lexi didn't know what the heck was happening until her kennel was packed up for her trip to my parents house.  From that point on, she was panting and following me like crazy.  After checking and double checking everything, I checked it one more time just because I had no idea what else to do!  Heck, I even grabbed left overs from the fridge for my parents to eat over the next few days, because I knew we were not coming home for a few days when our baby had arrived.  Laura finished her shower and we headed for my parents house.  Lexi was super excited to see them.  My parents were super excited for our visit too...heck, they were waiting in the driveway as we backed in!  They started grabbing things quickly and I told them there was no need to rush.  Apparently, that statement meant that there was plenty of time to take pictures, according to my dad!!!  So, he snapped this picture before we climbed in the car and headed back to the birth center at Childrens' United Hospital in St. Paul.

 

 

As we walked in to the birth center for the second time in 5 hours, I looked at the desks of nurses and said, "We're back!"  And much to our surprise, we were brought back into the big delivery room!!!  Shortly thereafter, Monica came in, again!  By 7:25pm, we were checked in and sitting in our delivery room.  Laura was once again hooked up to the monitors to ensure a good heartbeat for baby.  She did a quick test to confirm the water had broken...and reassured Laura that she didn't have an accident!!!  And with that, the questions and process began!  She asked if we wanted to start being induced or if we wanted to sit around for a couple hours to see if Laura started having contractions.  Our doctor happened to be there delivering another baby so she stopped in to see us and encouraged us to take a walk to see if things would begin moving.  (On a site note, we knew if our doctor would deliver our baby, her schedule had a limited time window due to family plans and traveling over Easter, and then for a few days later in the week!)  By 9:15, Laura was still only dilated to 3cm.

 

Laura in our huge delivery room!!!  Still early, still happy...such a trooper!!!

 

The monitor printed out 2 lines on a piece of paper.  You can see the black line on the left as the baby's heart beat, and the same line on the right side of the paper is contraction monitor.

 

 

While taking a walk around 9:15, Laura began feeling some cramping, but nothing too major.  The nurse confirmed these were small contractions, so we were happy to know the process was starting on its own.  After another check from our doctor around 10pm, she told us the process would need to proceed because the water breaking starts a timer for delivery in order to ensure the health of mom and baby.  The doctor decided that if the contractions weren't more significant by midnight, we'd hook Laura up to an IV to start Pitocin for inducing her.  Laura never had an IV before...but me, being "Bubble Boy" with many ER visits under my belt, knew all about IVs.  I should've known better, and would find out in the next 24 hours...that my wife is one hell of a tough woman!!!  Our new nurse, Jodi, started the IV with no problems, and Laura didn't even hint at it being painful...hell, she watched, while I sat on the other side of her squeezing her hand tighter than she was squeezing mine!!! Well, at 12:15am on Monday, April 1st...our due date...Pitocin began flowing into Laura's arm in hopes of making her small contractions more powerful and to help her body begin preparing for our baby's birth.

 

By 1am, they cut the dose of Pitocin in half to slow her contractions down...she was having too many contractions in the time frame they were hoping for.  The contractions she was having were still pretty mild.  Over the next hour, Jodi gave us ideas on how to help Laura be comfortable during her contractions.  They brought in a rocking chair for her to use.  They turned the TV on to a channel that showed constellations and had calming/soothing music.  Until 2:30am, Laura rocked in the chair in almost a perfect state of zen or relaxation.  If it were me in that rocking chair, I'd be bawling my eyes out, swearing like a sailor and whining for my mommy.  Laura, however, rocked on peacefully.  Several times, she'd open her eyes and saw, "wow...that one was a little more intense than before," indicating she had just finished a contraction...to me, however, she looked so peaceful and almost asleep while her body was working wonders!!!  This is just one of the many times I would look on in awe at how incredibly strong my lovely wife is!!! 

 

Laura in her rocking chair, working through the contractions...IV hooked up and monitor in the foreground

 

At 2:30, another pelvic exam revealed Laura was only dilated to 3.5cm.  At that time, they needed to insert a more sensitive monitor to better gauge the intensity of the contractions Laura was having.  They attempted to get it in, but were unsuccessful at placing this monitor.  After some major discomfort and nausea Laura experienced during these repetitive exams, Jodi suggested a dose of pain medicine to help Laura be more comfortable during the exams and for the contractions.  We had originally hoped to go through delivery without medicine to reduce the risks to mom and baby.  However, we both thought a small dose would be helpful for Laura, at least just to help her endure an upcoming pelvic exam and another attempt at placing the internal monitor.  Well, that shot was almost worthless for Laura as it caused a lot more nausea and did nothing to provide comfort for her.  At 2:50, they realized the water broke somewhere away from the cervix, and suspected some remaining fluid was preventing the monitor from being placed. 

 

The most amazing woman in the world, still completely and utterly gorgeous despite all the monitors hooked up to her and all she had endured at that point in our story!!!

 

 

Jodi, was quickly becoming our favorite nurse, all by doing what she does for everyone else she helps on a daily basis!  At one point, she offered me a cup of her own personal coffee stash...and what a gift it was!!!  Jodi asked us if there was any major objection to an epidural.  Laura explained how she had worked with patients at her previous job who had problems due to poor epidurals, and that she was hoping to do the delivery without risks beyond what could be expected.  Jodi reassured us that the anesthesiologist on-call that night was a very skilled doctor and had lots of experience.  When she left, Laura and I had the realization that we'd go for the epidural.  Laura's contractions had not increased in their intensity and her body was not preparing itself as quickly as it should have been...and the timer kept ticking for a healthy delivery.  Knowing that a lot of unknowns awaited us over the next hours (technically, Laura still wasn't in labor, which starts at 4cm!), we made the decision to get the epidural.  Shortly after 4am, the anesthesiologist arrived and placed the epidural.  While leaning over the bed into my hands, Laura was again the stronger of the two of us.  Throughout the whole process, I felt totally useless in my ability to help and comfort my wife.  There were times I felt sick to my stomach due to the procedures they were performing on her.  Once the Epidural was in place, they successfully placed the internal monitor after the 3rd try...and Laura felt nothing!  That procedure in itself was well worth the epidural!!!  They also discovered at this time that Laura was dilated to 4cm.  They warned us that the pain would not totally be eliminated, and that there would still be some pain and discomfort during delivery.  Finally, they hooked up Laura up to a blood pressure cuff, which checked her initially, every few minutes, before finally being set to check her after 30 minutes after it was in place for a while.  This blood pressure was checked until her delivery.  They then encouraged us to try for a nap as we'd wait for the medicines to kick in and see how Laura's body would react.  At 5:40am, Laura settled in for a nap.  I settled in next to her on the chair/bed for a sleepless rest.  (This is when I wrote my earlier post, "I Wonder").  While she was snoozing, I tried calming myself.  Laura had already been through a lot, and that had all taken place before she even started labor.  And for me, a guy who shrieks at getting a shot, medical procedures make me really light headed and grossed out...heck, I passed out during my Lasik eye surgery...on 2 separate occasions...6 years apart...and I'm still the only patient that ever did that for my doctor!!!  Anyways, I don't know how I made it through Laura's nap.  At times I felt like breaking down.  I didn't know if I'd be able to help her with the upcoming delivery if I could barely make it through her pelvic exams, IV and epidural placements.  If it wasn't 5:40 in the morning, I would've called someone, though I still don't know who I would've called nor what I would've said to them, though I guarantee there would've been some tears on my end of the phone.  Apparently, at some point, I was able to close my eyes for a short nap...

We awoke from the most amazing nap at 7:20am for yet another pelvic exam.  I call the nap amazing because Laura went to sleep dilated to 4cm and awoke a little over 2 hours later and was dilated to 8cm!!!  Before Jodi left at the end of her shift, she recommended I head to the cafeteria and get a bite to eat and have some energy for the rest of the day.  Eating was the last thing on my mind.  My stomach was still upset with a mix of nerves and emptiness.  I headed down and grabbed a deli sandwich and another Mountain Dew.  I was barely able to eat half of a sandwich once I got back to the room after my quick errand, though the Mountain Dew seemed to help more! 

By 9am, Laura had dilated to the full 10cm...her body was now ready for delivery.  More amazing than her body's preparation was the fact that she didn't feel a thing, and was able to sleep through it!  The 1/2 centimeter she was awake for, and suffered through was long and painful.  When we awoke and had progressed 4cm during a nap and she didn't feel a single thing, we realized the Epidural was worth it!

As if this whole ordeal wasn't real enough...at 9:25am, our new nurse, Lorna, wheeled in the delivery equipment and began preparing the room for our angel's birth.  She set up a cart with all sorts of tools that looked like surgical equipment and a few cups/trays of different sizes, and she brought in a massive machine with a small basinet/holder on top with a heat light over it, and had lots of displays and plug-ins and cords on it.  During this time, Laura tried for another nap, while my stomach and nerves continued churning.  Something I haven't mentioned yet, but throughout the normal waking hours of our hospital stay, our friends and family were constantly expressing their love and support through texts messages to us!  I can't say how much we appreciate all of the kind words you sent our way!  Though Laura wasn't texting, I became her Communications Specialist and excelled at my work...or so I thought!?!

 

The cart with surgical equipment..(I'm not sure why this is turned sideways...sorry!!!)

The other big machine they wheeled in

Laura woke up from another snooze at 10:30 feeling well rested and very good overall.  Since her Epidural took effect, her legs were numb and useless.  So, Lorna and I were her helpers as we rotated her from one side to the next while she was laying down.  Laughter is the best medicine, so it helped me calm my nerves when Laura chuckled at how her legs just flopped around!  While hooked up to the epidural, Laura could only eat ice cubes; not even sips of water.  So my Communications Specialist role also morphed into an Ice Scooper Extraordinaire!!!  Spoonful by spoonful, I did my best to keep my lovely bride happy with her ice, even though her IV was still hydrating her.

Laura, awake and optimistic after learning she was ready and fully dilated for delivery!

At 11:15am on April 1st, Lorna came in and had Laura do a couple of small "practice" pushes.  After a couple of these, she said, "Yep, I think you can do it.  I'll go call the doctor."  Laura was still feeling a bit drowsy, but still didn't feel any pain or discomfort!!!  Shortly after she left, Lorna came back and told us she spoke with the doctor and agreed Laura would begin pushing at 12:30pm.  I looked at my watch when she said that and realized that I would be a dad some time in the next few hours!  For some reason, this calmed my nerves somewhat.  But this news also got my stomach going crazy again!  I found myself digging for some strength for my role in the delivery..."Please don't pass out! Please don't pass out!"  Before Lorna left, she converted Laura's hospital bed into a delivery chair...stirrups appeared out of no where and the legs of the bed disappeared...and the whole world had a great view of the "business end" as we awaited the time to start pushing!

At 12:25, my role as delivery coach was unexpectedly changed!  I was sitting my Laura's side holding her hand, as I was through the majority of our stay so far, when Lorna said, "Alright, dad, no more holding hands! You come here and grab her other leg.  Bend her foot towards her, grab the knee and help her bear down. Ok, Laura, here comes the next contraction...now PUSH!!!"  Lorna coached us through the pushing technique for the first few times:  Big deep breaths in, chin down on the chest, and pushing hard!  In between contractions, I shoveled ice like I was digging out from a blizzard!  Several times, I ran from the room and down the hall to the ice machine to fill up the cup.  After what felt like an eternity of being away from Laura's side, I returned with plenty of time to shovel more and prepare for the next contraction!!!  Each time the monitor indicated a contraction was building in intensity, we freed her legs from the stirrups and helped her bear down for the next pushes.  It took a few cycles of contractions for us to get the pushing thing figured out.  Laura was very receptive to my breathing cues.  Though I found it humorous...she typically sleeps at night with her mouth open, but here, when she needed big deep breathes, Laura suddenly had converted to a nose breather!!!  Thank God she didn't slap me when I was laughing at her...partially because she was laughing too!  So, when the next few contractions came, I did the breathing with her...when I ran out of breath, we breathed in big gulps and quickly exhaled before grabbing another breath of air for the final of 3 pushes Laura made during each contraction.  With contractions happening every 1-3 minutes, Laura did an amazing job at resting between contractions, getting some deep breaths, and keeping me employed as an Ice Scooper! 

After about a half hour of pushing, Lorna decided we should take it easy on the pushes so that the doctor would arrive for delivery.  She looked at the clock and said, "I wonder where that doctor is?!"  She called the nurse station and asked if she had made an appearance there yet (the doctor was at the clinic when she was called in).  The nurses responded that the doctor was there and asked if she was needed.  "Um..yep!  Tell her to suit up and come on down!" was Lorna's reply.  With that, our doctor we had visited numerous times over the past 9 months rushed into the room asking if she had enough time to change.  Lorna told her to pull on a front wrap and maybe some boots, but to be ready soon. 

By the time the doctor wheeled up to the "business end" she said, "Oh, your baby is crowning very nicely!"  "Holy crap!!!" was my response!  I had no idea if we were making any real progress with all the pushes...but apparently we were.  Lorna told the doc that I was doing a good job with the coaching and that we'd proceed as we had been doing.  The doc was cool with that, and so we proceeded with more pushes.  After a couple of cycles, the doc interrupted our pushing efforts by changing the methods of pushing from long pushes to short pushes and Laura saying, "Pa Pa Pa" while doing little pushes.  After about a minute of these, the doctor said, "One more push and we should have this baby delivered!"  Words can't express what I was thinking at this time, mostly because I had no clue what to think!!!

At 1:42pm, April 1st, 2013, Erica Jean came into this world and was immediately placed on Laura's tummy for a quick toweling off before being placed on Laura's chest.  At 8lbs 14oz and 21.5 inches long, she was a good-sized baby!!!  My eyes immediately got teary at the sight of my little baby.  She was almost as purple as a grape as she was crying through her first breathes of air in the world outside of Laura's tummy.  Somehow, I snapped our first picture of Erica amongst my tears...

These were the first 2 pictures taken of Laura and Erica.  The picture on the right shows Erica's first tears.  We knew immediately she was healthy and had a lot of volume to her crying that we could look forward to in the future...Notice her purple/blue hands.  Her body "pinked up" pretty quickly, but her hands and feet took a little while...just like our hands and feet are the first to get cold in the winter, the blood takes a bit longer to get there.

 

 

The following picture was when I shed some tears for the second time...This is by far my most favorite picture we've taken of Erica...her cute little, pouty lip sticking out as she looked up at Laura for the first time...my girls are so adorable!!!

After we had a few minutes of time with Erica, Lorna took her to the big baby machine I showed above for some initial testing, weighing and measuring.  While Lorna was working with Erica, the doctor was finishing up with Laura and making sure everything was good with her.  At 2:15, Erica latched on to mom for her first feeding, and did a great job feeding for almost a full hour! 

At 3:15, Erica got her first shot in her thigh.  For this shot, Erica and I started a new tradition; she grabs my pointer fingers in each of her hand and squeezes!!!  I'm happy to see that I'll be able to help her out, but it was so hard watching her be in pain...and she was less than 2 hours old at that point!!!  While all of these things were happening after birth, Laura was continuously being monitored and they checked on Erica's vitals several times.  Before we left the delivery room, Laura's Pitocin and Epidural were turned off and she was finally unhooked from all the machines she had been on for the previous 19 hours.

Our nurse, Lorna, checking on Erica shortly after birth

Our doctor checking on Erica before we moved to our normal hospital room.

Erica Jean Lemke

By 4:30pm, 21 hours after checking into our room after Laura's water broke, this story wraps itself up as we moved from our delivery room to our normal room.  Lorna said she'd get us a cart so I could transport all of our stuff to our next room.  But, with one heck of a nice camo hunting backpack and duffle bag, I was able to impress her and Laura by getting all of our gear in one trip while Laura was wheeled to our room with Erica in her arms. 

I'll pick up this story with tales from the rest of our hospital stay at a later entry...heck, this post has taken me almost a day to write due to all of my daddy duties which has pulled me away from the computer at times!  Thank you all so much for reading our story.  Of course I'm biased, but this is the best story ever told, and I can't wait to have many more stories to tell of little Erica's life.  Since Monday, being a dad has been the most fulfilling and rewarding experience I've ever had!  Words can't describe how thrilled I am.  Laura has been such a trooper.  I didn't think I could love her any more than I already did, but seeing her endure the delivery and all the baggage that took place before and after, I love her even more.  She has become such a great mom already...able to comfort, feed, sooth, and care for Erica Jean as if it's not trouble at all!!!  I only hope I can provide adequate support to her as she continues to develop into a great mother and works to nourish our little girl.  Finally, thanks to all of you.  Your kind words, thoughts, and/or prayers you sent our way for exactly 40 weeks has been so important to us and we greatly appreciate it!  We are now blessed with not only a healthy and happy little girl, but also a healthy and happy mom!!!  At the end of the day of any child birth, I now know how important those 2 things are.  Thanks so much for reading this loooooong entry in my Daddy Diary.  I hope you enjoyed it!  Take care!